Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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