You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
