i would punch a child for taco bell
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
