you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we're making bets on your personal life
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
