my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
