We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
