i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
