i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
