Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
