The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Bring me that man meat
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
