Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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