Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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