Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize