I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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