i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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