I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
