Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize