walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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