you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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