I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
