Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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