he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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