I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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