Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
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