Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
