God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Fuck appropriateness.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize