From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
