I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
