We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
