just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
