yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
