With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
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Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
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I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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