Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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