I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
