he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
