Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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