I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
