If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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