Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
