I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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