I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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