I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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