Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
