I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Boobs speak an international language.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
