is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
