haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
