dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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