so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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