Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
