Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
