I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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