Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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