Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
