i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
