I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
