Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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