Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
