Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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